The 2nd Funniest Joke in the World

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?" Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

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Stacey Soloman X Factor Article in her local paper

AN ESSEX beauty stunned the judges of ITV's X Factor with her voice which "didn't falter" in a standout audition in the first sitting of the returning reality talent show on Saturday.

Brunette Stacey Solomon, 19, who is studying for a National Diploma in Performing Arts (Musical Theatre) at Havering College of Further and Higher Education, in Ardleigh Green, was one of the first gems to shine on the new-style arena audition stage in the sixth series of the talent show.

The modest single mum-of-one won over the judges with her stereotypical Essex charm and accent the moment she arrived on London's O2 stage for her audition.

She told the judges her mum, who she lives with in Western Avenue, Dagenham, along with her 17month-old son Zachary, "sometimes" told her she was a good singer and nervously laughed as she accidentally slipped up answering a question about whether she had friends supporting her on the day - "No, I mean yeah I have," she said.

But the odd roll-of-the-eyes from bigwig Simon Cowell and laughs from the audience soon stopped when Stacey started singing.

Her heartfelt rendition of Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World received an arena-full of cheer and applause - including from Simon - and a resounding four yes's from all the judges putting her through to the next stage of the competition.

Girls Aloud's Cheryl Cole said: "I don't know why I had a pre conceived idea but I didn't think it would be that good ...thank you."

Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue both agreed.

Dannii said: "It was a real surprise, so cute, your personality and voice and you didn't falter."

Simon said: "I'm rarely surprised but I have to be completely honest with you that performance took me by surprise. I think you are really really good."

Stacey, whose father David and step mother Karen, live in Burnway, Hornchurch, has since been tipped by pundits as a potential winner of the show.

Romford Recorder

Michael Jackson's Death Homicide

After weeks of leaks and speculation, the conclusion of the Los Angeles chief medical examiner was announced on Monday by law enforcement officials.

Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, has already admitted administering the drug propofol to the "King of Pop".

Court documents showed that Jackson consumed a cocktail of drugs in the hours before he died, the Los Angeles Times reported. According to a newly unsealed affidavit accompanying a search warrant used in the investigation of Jackson's death, Dr Murray told detectives he gave the "King of Pop" propofol to treat insomnia.

Jackson suffered cardiac arrest and died on June 25 aged 50. Since then, police have investigated his death with a focus on prescription drugs and the role of doctors who treated him, including Dr Murray.

An autopsy report in to Jackons' death remains sealed while police complete their investigation into the role prescription drugs may have played in his death and the actions of his doctors.

According to court records, Dr Murray told detectives he had been giving Jackson 50 mg of propofol every night for six weeks using an intravenous drip.

Dr Murray told detectives he feared Jackson was forming an addiction and began trying to wean the pop star off the drugs. He lowered the dosage to 25 mg and mixed it with two other sedatives, lorazepam and midazolam. On June 23, two days before Jackson's death, he administered those two medications and withheld the propofol.

On the morning Jackson died, Dr Murray said, he tried to induce sleep without using propofol, according to the affidavit. He said he gave Jackson valium at 1.30 a.m. When that did not work, he said, he injected lorazepam intravenously at 2 am.

At 3 am, when Jackson was still awake, Murray administered yet another drug, midazolam.

Over the next few hours, Murray said he gave Jackson various drugs. Then at 10:40 am Murray administered 25 mg of propofol after Jackson repeatedly demanded the drug, according to the court records, the Los Angeles Timesreported.

At least two doctors gave Jackson propofol in Germany. Dr Murray said Jackson had declined to tell him about what treatment he had received from other doctors.

He said he had seen injection marks on Jackson's feet and hands. When he asked Jackson about them, the pop star told him he had been given a "cocktail" to help him. In addition to Dr Murray, authorities subpoenaed medical records from several other American doctors.

Dr Murray has already acknowledged obtaining and administering propofol to Jackson the morning that he died. Dr Murray told police he left Jackson alone under the influence of the medication to make telephone calls to his office and family.

He returned to find Jackson was not breathing and performed CPR.

Jackson was declared dead in hospital.

Telegraph 2009

Michael Jackson’s death is being treated as a homicide by the Los Angeles County Coroner, it has emerged tonight.

A law enforcement official in Los Angeles confirmed this evening that a ruling from the coroner’s office has deemed Jackson’s death to be a homicide.

An investigation is ongoing to determine whether anyone is to blame for Jackson’s death and to what extent, although homicide is not necessarily equivalent to murder and can include manslaughter.

In an affidavit unsealed today in Houston, it was also revealed that Jackson had lethal levels of the powerful anaesthetic drug propofol in his body when he died on June 25 and had been taking a “cocktail” of sedatives.

The court documents also revealed that Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, told detectives that he had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks. Court records showed that Dr Murray had been giving Jackson 50mg of propofol intravenously every night.

The Los Angeles County Coroner's office has not confirmed the reports.

Propofol is a powerful sedative drug usually used as an anaesthetic during surgery and also by dentists and veterinary surgeons.

Though the results of Jackson’s autopsy have not yet been unsealed, Dr Murray told police that he had feared that Jackson was developing an addiction to propofol. He said that he had been trying to wean the singer off the drug by lowering the dosage to 25mg and mixing it with other drugs.

On the night of the popstar’s death, Dr Murray said that he had tried to get Jackson to sleep without using propofol and had instead administered valium at 1.30am and then lorazepam at 2am.

When the singer was still awake at 3am, Dr Murray gave him midazolam, another sedative. Dr Murray said that Jackson was demanding propofol, which he then administered at 10.40am.

Although Dr Murray admitted prescribing propofol, the Los Angeles Times today reported that the LA authorities had found no record of Mr Murray purchasing or ordering the drug under his medical license or official tracking number.

In the affadavit, Dr Murray also explains that propofol had been administered to the singer by a number of other doctors, in Las Vegas, Germany, and in his cosmetologist’s office. Jackson reportedly admitted to Dr Murray that he had been given a “cocktail” to help him.

On the day of Jackson’s death, Dr Murray said he had left Jackson to make phone calls to his Houston office and returned to find the singer was not breathing. He perfomed CPR while Jackson’s staff called the emergency services. Jackson was pronounced dead at the UCLA Medical Centre later that day.

An investigation is ongoing to ascertain whether Dr Murray’s actions in administering propofol to Jackson amount to negligence, which could lead to an involuntary manslaughter charge.

However, although Dr Murray has been interviewed twice by police, he has not been named as an official suspect

The Times 2009